Haruhi A.K.A. BEST FUCKING PIRATE ACTRIS EVER

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Aw man! [public, voice]

[13 March 2009, 22:51]

bestpirateevar

I'm so bored! Isn't there anything to do around here? Man, and I thought Amicus would be boring with all the mushy-gushy love crap, but this is so much worse! Now there's nothing to annoy me except boredom itself!

Ah, I can't take it! I'm going to go blind! I'm going to go deaf! I'm going to die of boredom!

If I die... tell... my story...!

Now this is the part where I give a huge speech right before dying, but that's way, way too boring! Whose idea was it to add long dialogues to a death scene? You should be feeling a sense of empathy for the character dying, not wishing for them to "just die already." The pathos is gone!

Man, I could totally write a better play than that.

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d_luffymonkey

2009-03-14 03:08 am (UTC)

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But I always liked the part where they tell their stories...

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bestpirateevar

2009-03-14 03:14 am (UTC)

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But it's so boring! I don't want a narrative! I want the drama played out! And when a person dies, they should die quickly! And there should definitely be more realism to it. Death isn't pretty or glorious, you know?

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d_luffymonkey

2009-03-14 03:15 am (UTC)

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But I think it has more action if there's the story! More emotion! More, um... suspense? A drama's just a drama after all, so it doesn't have to be real! We just need to impress the audience!

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bestpirateevar

2009-03-14 03:32 am (UTC)

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I didn't mean we had to get rid of all of that. Just cut the death scenes shorter. Really, who talks that long while dying?

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d_luffymonkey

2009-03-14 03:33 am (UTC)

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Umm... I dunno. But I'm sure there's someone out there who died like that.

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but_inevitable

2009-03-14 03:14 am (UTC)

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Well, there are situations where a long dialogue works. If you want to make your villains a little sympathetic, you can have them talk about their tragic backstories after the hero mortally wounds them.

Of course, it has to make sense with the way they're dying. Once, I saw a play where the hero smothered his wife with a pillow over a misunderstanding and she kept talking for about fifteen minutes.

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bestpirateevar

2009-03-14 03:18 am (UTC)

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That's so annoying. And boring. Dialogue can get so boring. Action scenes are definitely the way to go. Epic battles! Sword-fighting rivals! Fights to the death! And when that death comes, an "urk!" and then the person falls to their knees, their side, and dies! It's definitely better that way.

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but_inevitable

2009-03-14 03:24 am (UTC)

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Well, it does make more sense for them to talk about it before the hero kills them. That way, whenever the fight scene does start, it's more satisfying because you had to wait for it.

Of course, it might make the hero look like an asshole if the villain's really tragic.

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a_devil_lady

2009-03-14 03:23 am (UTC)

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Geez, you sound like a dateless wonder or something. Feeling a little jealous of the all happy couples roaming about?

Don't be! Half of these idiots won't be together longer than a week, tops!

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bestpirateevar

2009-03-14 03:34 am (UTC)

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What? That's not true! I've gotten plenty of offers before! But they all bored me so much, I had to let them go. See, it's the same thing now. Everything is so boring!

Right. True love only exists in plays and stories anyway.

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