Haruhi A.K.A. BEST FUCKING PIRATE ACTRIS EVER

Do you have a problem with how I play Haruhi? Comment over here. Anon is on and ip logging are off on my crit journal. However, anon is OFF and ip logging is ON in this journal to avoid spam.

You all heard what the captain said! There's been a thief, and for once we're not the ones who did it! That can mean only one thing.

We have a case to solve and I, the Great Haruhi Suzumiya, am offering myself up as the leader of this investigation! Who's with me? I'll need the smartest and the brightest of the crew to join me! ...Hana, you can come too.

You all better come help! If you don't, doesn't that make you suspicious? Aha! That's how I'll find you! Vile culprit, you can't hide from the Great Haruhi Suzumiya!

Hey Sophie!!!! Do you have any detective costumes? I'm going to need something extra investigatory for this!

Listen up, Winding Wayers! I have an announcement to make!

I, Haruhi Suzumiya, have discovered a MYSTERY! That's right, a mystery! And it's a pretty good mystery if I do say so!

So there I was, in the props closet. It was dark and cold, and raining! Well, not raining, but it was definitely dark! I often go there to... "take care" of the costumes. Yeah, that's it! Anyway, that's what I was doing today.

But you know, there's some pretty interesting things about some of these costumes. I've noticed it once before, like that time I tried cooking after wearing that chef costume. I swear my cooking totally got better! So, for fun, I decided to put it to the test today.

And behold! The mystery! I tried on the maid outfit and suddenly I felt the urge to pick up a broom. And when I did, I could actually sweep without breaking something! And then there was the waitress costume. I practiced holding plates, and I swear I could hold more than I can normally. I could actually be a real waitress at this rate. Then, the princess dress! ...Ok, that one was weird. I almost starting singing.

Isn't it a mystery? It definitely is! But I've already solved it! What to you guys think? Have you guessed it yet?

...

Alright, it's magic! Definitely magic. It's subtle, but this won't escape the Great Haruhi Suzumiya's keen eye!

This might even be the answer to a greater mystery: why we're all so good at acting. The costumes are helping us embody the character! And I might have an idea of just where this magic is coming from~

Yes, we're here, we're here! Oh man, there's so many people! What should I do first? Where should I go? Who should I talk to? I bet there are all sort of interesting people out here! This is definitely what I've been looking for.
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[Filtered to the Winding Way, medium hacking]
[shouts] HEY MILK! Do you wanna go look around now? Come on, come on, I don't want to waste any time!

Oh, and Hana, you're free this evening, right? Good! I'll come pick you up later.

Captain, can I talk to you?

Ok, listen up!

I, the great Haruhi Suzumiya, have come up with a surefire plan to gain some money and perform *without* using the stage. How? Street performance, of course!

I'll need some actors, so if you're not working on something else then you'd better help out! We don't want people thinking the Winding Way is out just because we don't have our stage. No, we're not like that, right? We don't need the stage to perform!

Oh, and I'll definitely find you if you're just loafing around, so you should just volunteer now and save us both the effort.

Now that THAT'S all over, it kind of feels like I forgot something...

Huh. I guess it wasn't that important.

But MAN, how could the stage get damaged like that? This really sucks! I wonder how long it will take to fix it... things are going to be pretty boring around here if we can't get plays going again.

Urrrrrrrg, what is this?! Attacking while a ship is down? That's not the way to do it! Where's your pirate's honor? You have to fight when both ships are in peek condition, in the air with guns and cannons and stuff! And then you have to swing across to the other ship on ropes, extending your swords for a fight on the deck! Then you capture the captain and call for the rest of the crew left to join you. That's the only way to prove that you deserve to plunder the other ship. This way is just wrong!

And what kind of name is Magentabeard? No no, that's definitely wrong! You should go for colors like black or red! What about Crimsonbeard, dyed red with the blood of his enemies? Do you pirates have any sense of image?!

Oh, and don't even get me started on your announcement! What kind of lousy announcement was that? You're being the "girly" ship with a sissy announcement like that! Grr, you're underestimating us! Real pirates never underestimate their opponents!

You see! You're horrible pirates! Fail pirates! So now we're just going to have to destroy you.

I'm so bored! Isn't there anything to do around here? Man, and I thought Amicus would be boring with all the mushy-gushy love crap, but this is so much worse! Now there's nothing to annoy me except boredom itself!

Ah, I can't take it! I'm going to go blind! I'm going to go deaf! I'm going to die of boredom!

If I die... tell... my story...!

Now this is the part where I give a huge speech right before dying, but that's way, way too boring! Whose idea was it to add long dialogues to a death scene? You should be feeling a sense of empathy for the character dying, not wishing for them to "just die already." The pathos is gone!

Man, I could totally write a better play than that.

Yo~!

Anyone want to make chocolates with me? I'm pretty good at it, you know! I can teach you how as long as you listen to everything I say.

Oh, and by the way, I'm taking over the kitchen. No objections, right? Good!

...I wonder. Should we really have helped them back then? If we hadn't... would this have happened?

How many people were in that town? How many people are there in Reial? What percentage is that? What percentage died? Now there's one place in the world I'll never go! It's like... it's the myths! Of how Reial was made! People died then, right? How many people died? What percentage was it? If I do the calculations then, and now... how many are gone? What if there was someone interesting out there? I'll never get to meet them now! It was a small town, but how small? How many people? How many!

Ah, this is all messed up! This isn't how pirates are supposed to be! Jumping across ships, fighting with swords, stealing treasure and hiding it! That's what pirates are supposed to do! Like in the stories! They aren't supposed to kill entire towns! It's wrong, it's wrong! They're not pirates! They're not!

It's wrong. All, all wrong. Pirates aren't supposed to be like that. They can't be like that. But it happened. It happened. How many?

This is... this is totally screwed up, right?!

Are we hitting Trewe anytime soon? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to go home. I'm done with all of this.

Man, worst Long Night ever. The only good part was seeing Vash get locked up. That was pretty funny. But the rest of it completely sucked! Damn, I'm still so angry at everything...

WHEN I SHOULDN'T EVEN CARE! JDFJKHDFJHKCVBJVBNFJEUIEURWRJDFAKDFAHUEFU!!!!!!111

Stupid, stupid journal.

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[Filtered to Joshua, hard to hack]
I need to talk to you. And if you don't reply, I'll definitely track you down!!!
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[Her tone seems very off. She's not her usual annoying chipper self.]

I'm... I don't think I'm going back tonight. Sorry Milk, we'll have to put our plan on hold. Not that it really matters if I'm not there anyway, I guess.

[Now her tone takes on a forced cheeriness]

So I'm just gonna hang out in town tonight! You know, see some of the night life! I know it's the Long Night and all, but that's what makes it so exciting, right? I'm sure I'll be fine, so don't worry about me, ok? And Vash, you better shape up by the time I get back! How do you expect to ever be a mother with that kind of attitude?

If you need me, then too bad! I'm not here.

Oh, if you see Vash, tell him he's an idiot. And give him a good punch for me.

[Private, medium hacking]
I really hope Giselle doesn't see that post, or at least that no one tells her what it's really about. I don't think I can stand a repeat of the 'seamstress incident.'

...

Oh man. I have to get off this ship right now.
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[Filter - Winding Way]
When are we leaving?!
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Because even if I don't have time for logs right now, I might have time for this. MIGHT. I'll try to get to them over the next week.

He thinks he can just order everyone off and find all the bombs himself. Who knows what could have happened! Just because something didn't happen doesn't mean it couldn't have! There's being an adventurer and then there's being stupid. I didn't think he was stupid.

Doesn't he realize how worried we were?!?!???? And if I didn't have to deal with Hana and the Rhythm girl then I could have gone to find him. That's what I was supposed to be doing! Does he even know how I would feel if something happened and I couldn't do anything about it HE DOESN'T GET IT AT ALL!!!!!

[ooc: Strikes deleted.]

[Sound of something crashing to the floor.]

Ughh... [Some shuffling noises]

The hell. This thing turned on by itself. Whatever. I don't care. I feel like crap. Kropmork really is disease ridden. I feel like I'm going to dieeeeee--

CRAP. Have we done casting already? Oh man! I wanted to be in this one so badly and it's not like I can-can-can't [Sounds of sneezing] perform...

This is nothing!